Blahzay Blog Redux

don’t get caught up in no throne…

This is from a USA Today article on NFL linebacker Ray Lewis that appears in their iPhone app. The all caps are the editor’s notes. Looks like they also need an online proofreader.

This is that shit right here:

I begin with my usual full disclosure on all matters pertaining to Toronto media: I worked at FLOW 93.5FM for 3 1/2 years from 2001-2004. I started as the Senior Graphic Designer and later became the New Media Director. I left with a bunch of decent memories as well as the occasional Vietnam-type flashbacks of my experiences there. So I feel compelled to share my opinion on the launch of G98.7FM, Toronto’s latest urban (black!) radio station.

G98.7FM plans to be all of the things that FLOW 93.5FM promised and either never or half-delivered. That’s a lofty goal. I’d like to see them succeed at it but I have my doubts.

It’s one thing to put this down on a CRTC application but it’s another thing to actually make a profit with a chosen format. Let’s leave aside the news and commentary aspect for a moment to focus on the music. The chosen format is black urban AC (adult contemporary). Or as I call it: the tunes in your uncle’s crates. This is fine for a show or two but it alienates a younger demographic with lots of disposable income who aren’t looking to hear Teddy Pendergrass 24/7. The Founder, President, CEO & Station Manager (did I miss a title?), Fitzroy Gordon, has chosen this format but has he chosen it because there’s a high demand for it or because it’s “not like FLOW”?

That seems to be the mantra going around, which is ironic because there are so many former FLOW players in the mix at G98.7FM. Let’s start with the on-air team. Former FLOW standouts Mark Strong and Jemeni, Dr. Jay and Spex are solid and experienced and will draw listeners on their name value alone. The rest of the on-air team has varying levels of experience and will need time to gel. But I got one bone to pick already: Chris Hayles…News Guy…right now you sound like the love child of Ron Burgundy and a carnival barker. Can you tone it down a little? Please and thank you. Hopefully it’s just his over excitement at being part of a new venture.

Behind the scenes the sales staff has more than a few FLOW veterans. This may be G98.7FM’s strongest card since the sales team already has years of ties and experience dealing with both local and multinational accounts. Program Director Wayne Williams is a former FLOW worker too. He may be the most polarizing person in this whole venture. As the longest serving PD at FLOW, he was the man ultimately responsible for the music and the format that the station had. I say this knowing that the FLOW board and owners had a heavy hand in all of the decision making that went on. In my 3 1/2 years there the station went through three PDs before hiring Wayne, so I know he was on the hot seat. But he had lots of influence, and that can’t be excused away even with having onerous bosses.

My initial impression of Fitzroy Gordon is that he seems to want to have control of everything. And he should, it’s his baby. But he needs to realize that the audience is ultimately in charge. They will decide what works and what doesn’t. Having an African/Caribbean base is a start but it shouldn’t be the be all and end all. Neither should a urban AC format that I personally don’t think has the legs to cultivate profitability.

This isn’t community radio, this is radio that needs to be paid for by the community. The people will speak and G98.7FM will need to listen.

End note: The website? It sucks big time. Kinda amateur hour for a media outlet with a high profile. Step yo game up in that arena G.

The most inspiring thing about the worldwide Occupy movement for me was the fact that it was global. Other than that I’ve found it to reflect that conversation that Marlon Brando had with a girl in the movie The Wild One:

“Hey, Johnny, What are you rebelling against? “
“What’ve you got?”

The Occupy movement seems to have the same lack of focus. Yeah I get that it’s a cry against evil corporate types but the thing about evil corporate types is just that: they’re evil. Evil entities don’t give a shit about Joanie Lunchbucket. But those that benefit from and prop up evil entities do. And who are they? Politicians mostly. Some media types too. That’s where the real control is.

The Occupiers (nice huh?) need more benevolent providers like George Soros. But the tactics need to be adjusted. Look at the conservative machine. Their m/o is to develop a grassroots movement that embraces the common man and wins him over with their message. Everything they talk about, while frequently contrary to their true intentions; rings true enough to garner votes. And votes are what truly matter.

Less occupying of parks, more occupying of city councils and senate seats.

So here’s what I think the Occupiers should have occupied. And you know what? They can win hearts and minds if this becomes the new focus.

1. Soup kitchens
2. Shelters (Women’s, Men’s, Youth)
3. School breakfast programs
4. Local independent businesses (with their money)
5. Mentoring programs
6. Municipal politics (with influence, candidates and votes)
7. Arts programs
8. Sports programs
9. Micro-credit programs
10. Scholarship programs for underprivileged youth

Monorail. Monorail. Monorail.

Toronto Mayor Rob (McCheese) Ford has sent his unofficial Cheneyesqe mouthpiece – big bro Councillor Doug Ford (cartoony non-cartoon face above), to let it be known that he wants to solve the city’s fake fiscal crisis by taking over the waterfront from the tri-level gov’t agency Waterfront Toronto and building the following:

1. A mega-mall.
2. A ferris wheel WTF?
3. A waterfront hotel with pier.
4. A monorail.

That’s right, a motherhumping monorail.

What you should know is that the Ford brothers wow the election largely on a slogan based platform of “stopping the gravy.” Mayor Ford has also been actively trying to reduce “frivolous” costs by trashing a long-standing transit plan as well as threatening cuts to daycare, city civil servants and libraries, which has resulted in an infamous war of words with the notable Margaret Atwood.

So basically this wannabe world class city is being run by chimps.

Monorail. Monorail. Monorail.

Just like that Simpsons episode. How did that ever end up?

Yes, they really do. Why else would they embrace so many totalitarian methodologies? Oh, they would sooner tongue kiss a transgendered vegan before they admit it, but look beyond the surface and peep how both groups try to control and sway Joe Public:

1. Eliminate the social safety net. This makes the great unwashed more dependent upon you while breaking their spirit.

2. Squash any and all cultural support and services. The creative class always has the ability to generate dissension. They rarely follow the script so they can’t be trusted.

3. Boil everything down to a fear-mongering sound bite. Gravy train. Communists. Juden. Proletariat. Bourgeoisie. Freeloaders. Pinkos. “They want to take away your money/freedom/jobs/house/wife/​kids.”

4. Foster an “Us vs. Them” mentality. It’s not Toronto Nation, it’s Ford Nation. Allow no chance for intelligent discussion. Literally or figuratively bury your opposition. And be loud about it. The more brash, the better.

5. Control the media. If you can’t openly and actively oppress them, limit or eliminate their access to you. Choose media favourites and leak your agenda accordingly.

6. Seed and salt every public institution with your followers so that your influence lasts long after your term.

7. Never, ever apologize. Just revise in the unlikely event that you’re backed into a corner.

It’s ironic that the now defunct News of The World paper would’ve had the best front page headlines for their own scandal.

Here’s my take on what it might have looked liked.

I love the whole rap super group concept. Black Milk, Sean Price and Guilty Simpson? Oh boy.